Excerpts from three pieces titled Neighborhood Sketches
Save The Wolves:
“We live in strange times and what is this guy trying to say or prove with the Venetian Plague Mask, the dark leather coat, the boots? It’s not Halloween. Does he have a concealed weapon underneath the costume? Should I even go into the store?
Maybe I need to lighten up.
I grab a grocery cart, go into the store.
Plague Mask peers at me from over a pile of fruit as I squeeze an avocodo. He turns and walks down another aisle. The echo of his boots rings in my ears.”
Invisible Fence:
“Well how does Invisible Fence work? Could it keep raccoons from entering our yard?”
He laughs. “Well, if you want to collar the raccoon it will.”
“Collar?”
“Yes. You buy a collar for your pet which administers a shock when they wander out of your yard. Seems to me your problem is you don’t want them wandering intoyour yard.”
“I didn’t know it involved a collar. How much?”
“$300. But lady. Are you really going to collar a raccoon?”
They Were Already There:
He manages to bag the raccoon on his own. But he struggles when he tries to cover it with the scented cat litter. I step up and hold the mouth of the bag open, averting my eyes and holding my breath so I don’t breathe the putrid thing.
“We need to buy some coyote piss,” I tell him.
“Coyote piss?”
“Yeah. If we put it around the yard it will deter the racoons.”
“Where’d you hear that?”